SHORT FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT LOVE AND LIFE

“I love you so much, I could squish you like a grape!”

“Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

“Life is too short to be taken seriously, laugh at yourself!”

“Love is like a pizza, even when it’s bad, it’s good.”

“I may be a disaster, but at least I’m entertaining.”

“Love is finding someone who accepts your weirdness.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode.”

“If life gives you lemons, add vodka and throw a party!”

“Love is just a chemical reaction, but it’s a damn good one.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

“Love is like a toothache, it’s painful but you still want to keep it.”

“The best things in life are free… or have free Wi-Fi.”

“My bed and I have a special relationship, we’re perfect for each other.

“Common sense is like deodorant, the people who need it the most never use it.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just allergic to gravity.” BIG HEART FRIEND QUOTES

“Love is like algebra, you look at your ex and try to solve for ‘Y’.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“Love is an ocean of emotions, but some people are just puddle splashers.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”

“Love is like a TV remote, we all want someone else to find it for us.”

“I don’t need a prince charming, I need a guy who can handle my sarcasm.”

“Life is too short to be anything but happy.”

“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.”

“Love is like a traffic jam, you gotta keep moving to avoid crazy people.”

“I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.”

“Love is like a selfie, sometimes you need to delete it and try again.”

“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.”

“Love is like a donut, sometimes it’s better with sprinkles.”

“I don’t have an attitude problem, I just have a personality that you can’t handle.”