SHORT FUNNY WEED QUOTES

“I’m so good at multitasking, I can smoke and forget to exhale.”

“I don’t need anger management, I just need some weed.”

“I’m not a drug addict, I’m a connoisseur of fine herbs.”

“I have a green thumb, but it’s not because I’m good at gardening…”

“I like my weed like I like my humor: rolling on the floor laughing.”

“Why be stressed when you can be obsessed with growing the best weed?”

“Sorry, I don’t have any problems to solve. I’m too busy rolling up solutions.”

“My favorite type of flower? Definitely the one that makes you forget your troubles.”

“I don’t sweat the small stuff, I smoke it.”

“I may not be a magician, but I can make stress disappear with one puff.”

“Weed: the only thing that gets better the more you forget about it.”

“I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.” – Mitch Hedberg

“Life is tough, but it’s better when you’re high.”

“I’m not addicted, I just really, really, really like weed.”

“I don’t have a problem with addiction. I have a problem with sobriety.” POSITIVE LOVE LIFE QUOTES

“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy weed, and that’s pretty close.”

“Smoking weed doesn’t make you a bad person. It just makes you a happier one.”

“Give a man a joint, and he’ll be high for a day. Teach a man to grow, and he’ll be high for a lifetime.”

“Why chase dreams when you can sit on the couch and let them come to you?”

“Smoking weed is like taking a vacation from your problems.”

“I only smoke on two occasions: when it’s raining and when it’s not.”

“If money can’t buy happiness, then why is there a dispensary on every corner?”

“Smoking weed is a way to show self-love. You’re literally giving yourself a hug from the inside.”

“I never worry about my future. I’m too busy enjoying the present moment… with a joint.”

“You know you’re a stoner when your happy place is your dealer’s house.”

“Marijuana is nature’s way of saying ‘Hi, chill out!'”

“I don’t always smoke weed, but when I do, I become a philosopher.”

“Friendship is like a joint. It burns better when shared.”