SHORT GYM QUOTES FUNNY

“I tried to go to the gym today, but it turns out ‘holding my breath’ during workouts does not count as cardio.”

“I go to the gym because it’s the last place left where I can’t use my phone.”

“I only work out so I can carry more grocery bags in one trip.”

“I hate going to the gym, but I love the feeling of having gone to the gym.”

“I work out because I know my body deserves to be treated like a temple… that occasionally eats pizza.”

“My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it ‘lunch.'”

“When life gives you lemons, go to the gym and let the sweat wash away all the sourness.”

“I don’t always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure everyone knows about it on social media.”

“The best exercise is doing yoga… just kidding, it’s actually taking off my sports bra after a workout.”

“I don’t always enjoy the gym, but I do enjoy the guilt-free wine afterwards.”

“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!”

“I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t make it on Tuesdays.'”

“I only do squats so I can continue to bend down and pick up my snacks.”

“Just remember, no one looks better standing next to a piece of cake than they do standing next to a dumbbell.” FIXING RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS QUOTES

“I go to the gym because it’s the only place where my playlist isn’t judged.”

“I’ve got 99 problems, but hitting the gym ain’t one… actually, it might be problem #100.”

“I tried to join a fitness class, but I couldn’t handle the pressure of pretending to enjoy burpees.”

“I work out because I know pizza won’t lift itself into my mouth.”

“I don’t go to the gym to lose weight. I go to build up my powerlifting skills… when it comes to eating cake.”

“I signed up for a marathon just so I could have an excuse to carb-load for weeks.”

“They say you should exercise at least 30 minutes a day. I say, why not just make it a really strong 7 minutes?”

“I don’t sweat, I sparkle at the gym.”

“I tried doing a HIIT workout once, but my enthusiasm only lasted for the ‘HI’ part.”

“Don’t be ashamed of your gym selfie. Some people post pictures of their food, but we all know you worked harder than they did.”

“I go to the gym because it’s the only place where my grunting can be mistaken for a legit workout.”

“The difference between a pizza and your gym membership? One actually gets used on a regular basis.”