“Victory is mine!”
“I like you better when you’re quiet.”
“What the deuce?”
“Damn you, vile woman!”
“I’d love to stay and chat, but you’re a total [expletive].”
“This is my house and I’ll do what I want!”
“I’m not drunk, I’m just exhausted from drinking.”
“What the hell’s your problem, you big, savage, undeveloped brute?”
“I’d help you, but I’m not a licensed therapist…and your problems are stupid.”
“Lois, if I’m not back in five minutes, wait longer!”
“I don’t mean to sound pretentious, but I think ‘Lois is a man’s name’ is genius.” QUOTES TO MAKE HER FEEL LOVED
“I’ll be in the back, playing with my toys, or perhaps ‘pleasuring’ myself.”
“English, mother[expletive], do you speak it?”
“I’m going to do what I do best: lie, steal, cheat, and survive!”
“You know, mother, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get. Your life, however, is more like a box of active grenades.”
“I am a child, and I must be entertained.”
“If I’m not mistaken, I think I found your problem. You appear to have written ‘Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony’ when it should clearly be ‘Yankee Doodle went to town… in a JET!'”
“Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a kick in the groin.”
“Oh, I get it. You’re famous for being a moron.”
“I don’t care for your tone, little boy. I suggest you keep your mouth shut unless you want to get WRECKED!”