STRIKE A POSE FUNNY QUOTES

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” – Dr. Seuss

“I don’t need a personal trainer, I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hand.” – Unknown

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb

“Doing nothing is hard because you never know when you’re done.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just dancing with the floor.” – Unknown

“I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.” – Unknown

“I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.” – Jennifer Yane

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A.A. Milne

“The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.” – Demetri Martin

“I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off.” – Unknown

“I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.” – Unknown

“Common sense is like deodorant, the people who need it most never use it.” – Unknown

“I have a terrible memory, but I can remember every embarrassing moment ever.” – Unknown

“I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.” – Unknown ONE YEAR ENGAGEMENT ANNIVERSARY QUOTES FOR HUSBAND

“I’m not funny, I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.” – Unknown

“I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen

“I’m not a player, I just crush a lot…of snacks.” – Unknown

“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.” – Unknown

“My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.” – Unknown

“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Unknown

“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.” – Unknown

“If there’s a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” – Unknown

“I’m not sure if I have free time or if I’m just forgetting something.” – Unknown

“I’m not sarcastic, I’m just allergic to stupidity.” – Unknown

“I’m not a pessimist, I’m just a realist with trust issues.” – Unknown

“I may not be perfect, but at least I have a sense of humor.” – Unknown

“I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.” – Unknown