![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZnFvcktFa3RUTG8vZ0JWdHRVdXlMajlFVXhZcU9QdEdkNzJSa2draWVNM29WMUp3QktSS1NQcjNLYVpmeXdHa3pWY3Ewc1ZZTXFabzFWaGdlbGJTaTlmbWVWckVmVEhhRHN1NGdWajhMSzd5elJmVDNtR2dxZFkrNE1WYWRkdjZRPT0%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(6b419ec96b6392a17416ab8a72344ed7).jpg)
“Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.” – Victor Hugo
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWFdBOU5aVWNjZFQzUUF2c1hKc0sxazJZR3hhRFN1QnNWVjA3dUZ3TE1WMXo4UXdvMHpUR01nTWI0RHpQaUd1amFxTTFEVnE2R2E2eTJjLy9odHJyclhvdm5vVEEzb1RUTFRwQlJmSnFrRW8%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(86b72b0f4fc4181368e9161613b2c388).jpg)
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUXU5aExRU1ZrTzhHbXBhYUxMUDI3Y09nYnRsUFQ1WHRIMWVxU2JjTE9lODlqZUlpa01sVGRjSXpibE9VMnQ4WHdHN0VWcU9RbDEwaTArck9ZWlpjaERDQTF5VSthZVR0ZVNNR1NLc3hPcFJ6aHZjMElHZWZKbDdKazFOTnVQMCthTFFsMk53cldsQjZPU3B2bkVuVGJFPQ%3D%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(11f8e502e2016598e122dd2e57409837).jpg)
“I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” – Woody Allen
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxYcnQveC9ic3RZZ2VOdEIzbWdFSVJoblY5QzlNM00ySTZ6ZXFCV0tlQlJIRHR3OVBDUW9VakFMOG15MmZFcjlBS3BqSGtBWW55c2IwUjluY2JxQk9NWHVvV0NHenNJbmFlNEt6TVJjbnpUV20vVTlDVTJROEhtek4zZTFPQ1lXL2VNN29sYm5wQXZ3cTBrMTB2SzBUUzl4a2Q1NG0vTCt3Y2JIMVBmNDBZ/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(44bf7f36caa4fb7d94aff7171930d348).jpg)
“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRWbmNJamdWWk5kdE1wNTlpMjRWUzdBY3RFQzk2eDdNVUxWZFh6TzNCNUdudUUyWWIvQ0Q1aWhuNVNFTVZ0eVd5dUJ0QnRyNVRiVUxicFE3OUdYSjg1L25odmFjeWVJR0ppck5XZjB1a1NnSytRa1pyY3lLT3dDYzlvWmtDNGhRPT0%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(fc9e55103ac2c746df1ef7cd047dd423).jpg)
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Mallory Hopkins
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2dmNXbm9mT1BmaXhQdmc4czZYZ3B2V1Fjd3RwTWZZWEJDbUdlYm1YZ0plN3RoYW03c1RmNm4vOVNVNFVwZzlRM3lrN2szZkEwZzkwRlkvNm02eWd3NTZSeWMvTXZKT3lIalBoY0pXTkdrbURIbkFaWXhGdm5MbnBLV1R2NHQ5TlhuMFFBb1ZtS0VPTTJYYkIwSlQwVC9L/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(cf69c1ddb8c6af2609910199cd79006f).jpg)
“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aVVrNmUxUFdZMG5Lb1VOK1hqcUYyWnpBd0x6dHNwNnlzcFJBcDR5L2ZEMkh4N0pjY0RKWVQrNWkvWnFnMytNMWx1bHBjOEhsTjNYRkVnaXF6TU1oNzZCTmFnUDFiK3hPQUN1ZFU1Y2tIOTJ6Ulg0a0wzUHYwUU1TQ0RzZm12Y2VnPQ%3D%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(91b1ea31bd1207945832979815e8a36e).jpg)
“I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZk5idUlhakovekU1T281VU9GMVFvNWlOWHhiazlmTUtzSzNQOHAxSWpHZUYrbWg5bHp2eXBvOG5Ebmt4ZTJESjN6a3NBTURiVnFDV1MvYW90Ukx4dDBJQ2lYOFYrWnFzYzU4cXNZY0UySE53PT0%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(8623a6649c64040201c2444cf180ddf1).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU0hJUU1qM08wbEJyQlg3R3k4MWlQZUIvZTF6QWxQTlFGbWk5ZGZYMFpMdGQybXV2dWRiRmZ4L2RDWXE0Q3JjelBNK0kwdG5xdXZJREhqdGk2N3Bsd3cyek9FaEZ5ZXZSNTBLNzl0Vk1HNHBvNDhTTG5UVm0vTWFjZlR6ZUVNM0RnPT0%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(562c803fe78ce08799f295471073b5c3).jpg)
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” – Steven Wright
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDZ0FablBPODNwOGc3Tm02RlZ6M0Z4L0VlWnMraGNtUVgvdWtMc3QxOWNGdVVLbDRTNGJsZ1NkV2ViRE1RemZtVnZJNTJ1dm15V05wcVlibGJLQk55K0t5elliYlE4OVAwNllrMStGbktDQmZkZDU4RmJZQ2dzNnhCcm1vQUVQZ1VlN1AwMXY3TUt5Yk9ETE9qTzFYR01S/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(cda55fca8930e74aa4ef563b5a90b0d0).jpg)
“The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0p5cU1nc215NDc1M0h1aWYvOE50azdpK0dKU3VYbkx6bDZwZE5lc2hqVzVaWXVVcU9STi9CNi9ybUpXMlNZWFhTV0luZnZNbU1TbFZwVnNhMWZ1OHo4Tk9hNSt1Wm94QWRtU0dwM0NhY3RodUdNMEQyUVZrcFdRdzRQMm5wYkdYQkUveStyK3V1S2FQVU1JRU10ZnRlZTdIVmFSaWJ1QlVXQkxjeU5lRzRwMS9XejQzY2ZweDQxNFh1ZGFxR0JlQT0%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(11941f836f8991adb70ce1d65e99bd7d).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy. It’s just that the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZTlIN2JHc2l3OHBDTzJBMExPMkJNM3cxVWQ4Vmc0emVkNXFqampEcXZjaDluSXovb3B1b2VxMVFtaFFCQ3VUV3FvY29EZzNIcHhqRlZCWm1ZUXBZZGpaZUFNbEZKQlB2N3FwQUtxb1R5QXZzSnUzMDA2U21kN2VvOEVMT0tHNkp3PT0%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(3a6acd4838a6da3b950f905ee42a37d0).jpg)
“I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted paychecks.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3YzemhRSDRXc2FLckJiRWcwSU5ZVUVwaWF5UlJ0QnY1OVR5RDkwYTBaNFZacDBOMUZqeEQ4elZ0bm1YR3cxemR6cXE1di9jZnl1UjdtUThaSlN1TW5oNHcvWlpvTkZuTk0veTdBaHNFRW4vL1JVOFdVT2NmUFl1VHN6eHdtcGgvNmNLQmhFU2xEdnluUDdQTXNSOXpZN2pGK0N3QnZRUVl6aVdHZVlDZEdUUjVuUG1Udm9MK3lJSUV3QjFPUkh5QT09/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(b6f1febbc2e006dad8b5380a1c6461cd).jpg)
“I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWW1lS1lDN3Y3MzRmSW5JeFk3WTFVdGMvSWRmdjNzZnVvd21YSDhPRCtvYmVvTm5yNWlsSFlYTm82azBmam9Wd09PQkpQYmx5dVJxQ3ZZMFRPS0lQeWE4Kytza0dCWlNMUW92a1JGVzZuY28vN3BrbUNTUTlHTUR3OHZUd0tXZ2NoRHhvaCtsR3J3clI3aTdGb0gxWkpLaWQ0T0ZNZVVyMUt6Yjl1NkxDcldh/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(74489edbe6886b7b0f9e58b2b5faaecb).jpg)
“I ran into my ex today… Put it in reverse and did it again.” – Unknown TOM PLATZ BEST QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFFUMUtIRUpQUE16aDhxaGxGazk2VkFKNTFxMlVpeHRWU0tZQ1g5T3pxb2c4d2pzQXNnbHoxeVp1VHdzM0xWd0xKM1ZDbE9NK2tyUnZiQjg4U0NqdVN3VkVMVkxLYXFUaGhXL0loQlVkcUtBPT0%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(62564ecc891a3a2016f1cfeddaf9a2df).jpg)
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV2tWUmpTOU1qdjRlNkRLTC8zcnJ3c3B4T21BZEdnRkxRVkFWMEx6Wm5nK2daTjg4K1NPYWNtWHZTVTFWeElNYlh4UXBpelZQUTM4WFU4bkJndE82Sk09/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(c6e41ed19c96f586d9b9450cda7e33eb).jpg)
“I prefer my puns intended.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aWJNRHg2cnR3czN2YnV3Ui9rSFFjM1RLb2dZWnI0OEM1MzRxbUhIOGcvczdWNWxFYTlUOFp2b1A2RldLVGt6cU41aHgwS09uWS82dmJvdGM5MXArQUJpSzNpTzR5YjZOVytNVzN5bWFZdjBBPT0%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(4c2dc6bdb8898fe7ad9d144e885e3672).jpg)
“I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWW9tZkY4L29zWGw4RDJOcGhoakhZbUZRYU55WVZnRTFwUythOFpEZUhidkFyRDlPc24yK1VDZUtRRUlaYmpVOUJRQkRzNlNLRlRSRFFJdXBZRHo4RTlRbXlPenIzSmpjemVZa2EweGlqdzg%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(a995f2b7018e38228351fcdcf368bccb).jpg)
“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZEgrY0orYzJmdnlNTnlLc2o0NU83bEV6NnV1WVhDMG5MdzkvMmRlVWVmS2dTL2dzWjdYeEp4R3NJOUxZTTlVZHlpWVRyU1RicjV2ekVsZjh2UDVzUWxUZDQ4dU8rdUk5c2hsOGVWckY3Yy8rcWpHRktONVRIOFBabWdaeFlIcTIwPQ%3D%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(544f9b433820e7082d126f5fe02a9042).jpg)
“I’m not crazy. My reality is just different from yours.” – Lewis Carroll
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z2EyemtBSmRuNTVXMENISklaaS80WFVxRGQxRndSeWtJeURKZ2VQSEhuWWNhNitxcFpjdGhsMUpBbUpSS0Q3c0J2Y1U0dmJIeXgvYU85K21IeUM1dUltdytNcXdFZUhjS0QwTUZyeitEY3FBPT0%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(0e79bc5bdcf92d0f282d7f653eb8c469).jpg)
“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0tOR21CT0FGNk45NWkyNHVIUXpOTUxmOHk2NXR6TnovcHFYY1QwMlhDRzAvbDlPdFl0MXYrUlhncFVEcVJCV2I2UTJCd2FwZnNFaXVWUGVKbVh0d2dHZXpFdjM4MGk1S2ZoMTdOLzN3KzFhLzJSeU1TWHc3dExhdWhjakRBV3kwPQ%3D%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(ec178b46ac626edcab4b3cae62489d56).jpg)
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY3FzVTUvY2doanBqQ083d2VIREZBMGpVck1udUhvVGUvYWhDWk1OQzNuR0dxRVpIS1N5Z1FxekFsREcvRXh3V1lCaS9KL1VyaXlvTUNyS0pBQ0l2RVE%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(6e21a24c0bedede7b0891c4d7fda26bd).jpg)
“I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZjNzdnVIU0VCcytENmpVd1VWMGVCTU51VkY4b1JyNkdwVnZ0YTNyTjdKYStQdVNZZElac1FDR3o2SlhTRHdxVTk2OUhmT0FkQ0dEd2I2Z3N5bVg4WjFuREt4OThON29JYlVtU3lQQVB4aGgzWGZuZjVaejJ5UEVRSEp6cWpybXJv/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(4022bd507c44d899ad8e30ba9b1a2bb4).jpg)
“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY2VYbXpWM0ViN3ZRY3BBNmFLOTdNaEZtZ01BblpzdFVraEdBR2sreDNrRzNyWHdPWGNweUJvTmJKd2xTSUdPcjVPZFpRUzVwNCtDWi9CNXV3NWo2Kys%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(2e0e5e35d85414029e8038d384e54591).jpg)
“I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZW5vTk9XNzlNT3dVQ1EvYzdlV0RVbEJjZ0l5RnFOaXM3TFFCcU9wcmwrZllFa0FJUzZFWENaM3IzWXlLZ1NhSVRqbHh6bUJ3MmlUV0wwMEgvdTc0U3dGVXJKVnhFeDkrSU9SWEU3aUo1SkdRPT0%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(b35031938c46cddf15aef61e6967cb0a).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just testing the gravity.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZDEvYmFLUE16dW8yOHRWTG90V0RmRWhFT3RXK3B5b0JzQlNUczRqMVpzenlNWitNWStndDNsQWxMRStLZDFiTUwxcit5NlBxMFA3OW95T2wxNmJBejNQd1lJODRQZkp4N0VGL0xicEV1M3pzZjM0R1NYOHc2TXE3RTVvallpNjhvPQ%3D%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(67badfbcba8ae062282ee39c986c4418).jpg)
“I’m not addicted to chocolate, chocolate is addicted to me.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0xvOHdDU1p0eGpkWjdkQ0d2dkZSMEtrSWN4Q1daYXNPaC9wYTJFaDh6MWF5OTh1Y2Zoc0EwNkYrNWhqN2JSVkcvb2dWdGpkajJVTFdhdVJHZWRDNjBvT0hhMGdxWFc5d0tMZldJRDEwT2hBPT0%3D/TAG+SOMEONE+FUNNY+QUOTES/(7f017a21d67c08fd2aede7c470bd50dc).jpg)
“I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.” – Unknown