![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYjJJZUFxL1ZOS200QUt5QkFMdU9Mb1lINzlscUFxWjk0NitNQ2Z5SW5PYVQyekVIN0xhcE9OTzE1bmJ2SW9ZOFE9PQ%3D%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(dcb99999852dffcb061e619910989c8c).jpg)
Here are 27 funny quotes for you:
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMmpFSFAvS2pzdDZWSER2QkxTK0Zjck8vZ1F1UDJIanVvWVdXRktMNXpIRUZOc2tsN0twTmFQbGRwV3hrMmpwK01ZYm9JeXNNK0dSNWlreUNPdlJGVVI%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(aa5e5dfad9f36b738e944f8730bbc4b3).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZW5vTk9XNzlNT3dVQ1EvYzdlV0RVbDREdm5PODluQnY0TkhidnVlaFVpT2pNUlZuWlU3YTdZTmRlWmJ3Y3hXZERvRFhobExlM1R4bVJkdlhFYldSQ0oxa2NMa3F6MTRVUERuL2dJaDVTSFZnPT0%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(3102616bf383ced7883684030b964dbd).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to destroy the floor.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWR4K2JneDQzbncwNWVnVERJNHk2M0dQWHA4ckNMSzVCTHhEVXVpYVMzYURlZWRMMUkyUlFxQXYxSmpTalQ3V2t1U3hKbXFENkZ4d1BDWE9nWllMVlo%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d51e0e43006b0bdcbf1499fc2cb0ff02).jpg)
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0tOR21CT0FGNk45NWkyNHVIUXpOTUxmOHk2NXR6TnovcHFYY1QwMlhDRzAvbDlPdFl0MXYrUlhncFVEcVJCV2I2UTJCd2FwZnNFaXVWUGVKbVh0d2dmbjB0VU5DdHM4aW5KZXR5MW8rSHR3PT0%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(5bf46e17864289d3f05ecd8774d1e8ad).jpg)
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZDEvYmFLUE16dW8yOHRWTG90V0RmRUM0QUR3WWlsSzA5bU5pSjM0b2l4NzRLaGNpbDIyYjk0QllpVVVQT0h3YWFwaFY4V1NVZDUwajNIMlA1V0g2UWNxQXV4SFZqVStERlE0WmlZN1M2Uit3PT0%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(825feb00356d29d0b6ab24088e6b84c0).jpg)
“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRYy9ha0NtbE1rcEVWbEk1WnAxMTNyY3VQclVCSVF1ZHhleWVKdlZkQWR1dkxTVlFGUkI1OFJSaWIyNzh3OUFIQjBaQ21STS9ITEl1Um1zcVh5bm8vcVJSUnhNRGsrNGRsb3VjM1hvQXQvTVRDVDFya0JaQWFLcjl3MU13bVlJaEVsV2t1Y0lDN3ZwSkkzOWhNdC8zNDJh/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d15473b791bd5d6f9c2db06f43e64fac).jpg)
“I’m not shy, I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate anyone.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZTVrN1psLzc5Zis4c0psMjlibGJuZ1dLNlI2bGdtUlp0clpDT25KOFBZVjBuUGEvTG8zYUVlNHRwKzdiZTRMUmhmeXBpVmdYYWtkSGlkRG14WGtjOUFOTGlmRzFaV3llUVI2OTFqbThVNkI4bGEyUVBaWC9McTVJTzhSUUhqdms4PQ%3D%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(43f839decfcd8590b699ec9df203c052).jpg)
“I’m not talking to myself, I’m having a parent-teacher conference in my head.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY296KzgyNHFHcEZyemljOFRJQmRrOGhDb3Q1UUZaK0x6L1YyVWYxSHJtMmFBWWlkSjlZbXhXb1NKejdRcEtxVmRRNGYyaUJnWGl6RWJHWi9wUUZzWGY%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(617a048eb97339300bb537cc78c64858).jpg)
“I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes I’m asleep.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRYzdmZE0xTDJvUE44RENrQXNSY2t4UXZaRVpVSlpDZDVJcFVPOTlOVXBHWDFQQ0VkOXBZeW14UzFsS0ZRNno4ZDhWZFFXWnJoTlI0aGNUR1pvY29KWk9NeHI5UXJOZ3Y1OHE5TXBrMWx0VUFhT1dNTDM5MHc2NEVBMUR1ZnVpUVdaMHhNRjN2bzkrNDdlSUtWaEVWRFRT/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(239bea3eba1588c6e42cc1dbc88c7d07).jpg)
“I’m not a weather expert, but I can confidently say that my forecast is always 99% chance of snacks.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWRIY3ArNy9HTDhZb1p0VFVkc25UMmRwcFRSc0ZDcERBTE1tR2g0SGw0SEFZOTNuSEg1a3BOdkdFdGdsWW1Ha3o2V2Y3UmRmbURBYzNwd2x2MFQwNzJ2WXRtSjFmUmZQNWxNOXJrenFwTkcyR0tDL09raGFXUkloVjJGZFBxdnFOcGNoU0V3S1d6ZFZZY1k2bWF5WnZJRzlOcS9BVWMyeDZNM28xcGV6YkUzQT09/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(ccc88379e0659e06021baf348599ce8e).jpg)
“I’m not a morning person. I’m a ‘don’t-talk-to-me-until-I’ve-had-my-coffee’ person.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZXJBZHM1c1BXWkx1MmtBVHlQTUM3WEgrSExVckJ3NTBLazRXYUdKOVpBNkZmd29ScDZZOUZ1WlBFYWY1c1FuaWxqSXpjU21xWUx1S2F1SnM1SytJczhFaTFJdU1TR0pqZGhBb25uSVNCMkZRPT0%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(913d3179836477fbfff77d8725cc7924).jpg)
“I’m not avoiding work, I’m just on a motivation vacation.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY2VYbXpWM0ViN3ZRY3BBNmFLOTdNaEZtZ01BblpzdFVraEdBR2sreDNrRzNiM21teE54ZUJ5MGxxVjFlVys3YWs9/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(a71478c065a1c99e46c356183c73730f).jpg)
“I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY3FzVTUvY2doanBqQ083d2VIREZBMGpVck1udUhvVGUvYWhDWk1OQzNuR0lWUWhZb2U0K3BRTkpaUEFYekQxZk09/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(cb2cfdca5f0333603ff887bf72c65e1f).jpg)
“I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0xjNHJ3QWZOVFhDT3paN2M5YVM3b3JIbFhjWmpjZVVLV0VLTXFZcEVXeHRQRnovbVdoVktnVTkrWWRId0JoTFZwd2VtSGh4Mmk1VnN1WFZKd3R5N3pqUDZWSVpkWGhDYkpGcWhXTmxXY2lRPT0%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(c38e5710309b53b7dc0285e4a1e4934d).jpg)
“I’m not a shopaholic, I’m helping the economy.” EMOTIONAL QUOTES SAD
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZktyako4N3M3bkkycHhNbk1NVXhmVnlYa3h0RzF0TTRBQ3lPSTlJQ2NvV2dZUFVoejdLUGlyR3EyQm0vbGlJY0Z4MTcyaG51NGRYV0Q0S3BZUm5CUnFBPT0%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(d2516b68736cc2509345d04571554e89).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZkJwYkhTQUpZSkZhSEtaK0k3RUJZcVI5QUl1VmkxbndJVlVaNVRXRGplRlR5cFhNenB2Z1JzNy9pR1FncU5udTRva1oyVjNvYzhSbzFFOTBERzV0eXI%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(2e0d68d6fb2b28405d7c637ba274780b).jpg)
“I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZlNyQk0ydjk0NUJVUCtKRHgwOUJ5RytFeE91cnQxN3I4ZGlhMCtyeUFTSTZNQWZ0ajJWUEN6S0ttR1ljMGJ3TDgwREpYZVNHY2NZVVMxVEo3NXM5NTg%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(38f866aabde853c13081962407cbae03).jpg)
“I’m not forgetful, I just have selective memory.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY1hxVEd6YnpUVG1oRFJiTEE0dkFMMFZHTW51VUZ2ZmtWUmtiQmdPeWZrdEYwbzAxdEVDMklXUlJCQWRNWklLK0VuZDdqVitEbXpzTlZ4U3VoQjFRZEI%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(18482f744c5be3f3031bf71b6dd15f65).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZW5vTk9XNzlNT3dVQ1EvYzdlV0RVbGtNUzdJQXR5OXhxdEhtRVFyV05ZYVlEanYvdlBVZCtWTjZoVVZJQktnQ01zMzk4bEcxYzdVd3dneVJRblZQOFFUUklqVGlSSU5YT2NhY09MWmVnTUxnPT0%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(8f4840b3cd9ac410341a3bcd85316334).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just performing random gravity checks.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZU1wbkZkNVp4bWhwRCtZb3F2Q3lGVlpHV3Y1aGlMODhtQmFPSkpMTkZPbnBIMS9PQU9OMzdQVE5Ta3NqMTVYS29aZzdtTWY3eW1UWG5EemNnNkZ0TnI%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(371469e475a6656ee86abbbf7ef3c8da).jpg)
“I’m not a doctor, but I play one in my house.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZlVLRE1oM05RcVl6NzRxd0NmSDBZSk44Y3JvaHozVVROc1ZvZ05kR09waTlGYmh4SEZ1WnU1MWV5MnNBUTVUYzFSaGI2aXdqeit4UUluM0J0S1M2cWI3SkFwcE91SGs3N3d0WUc5Z3VDNDhyaGN0SDRPQkFVd0RuYVc0M3lEYTJXSVAvS3o1RU1WTU1vSFNiYTlrT3Nj/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(852df87e75b9b11e14112a3f8ab98645).jpg)
“I’m not scared of spiders, I’m just practicing my interpretive dance moves when I see one.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZVNCQXZrdkFvU0FxN3ExcGtrb1QxaFkxNkpTOFgvMnJ1NnVSVjRHYWJndkpIOFRLWTdKZFU4TDFmRG9aZFB6TDJ3bHJhVDBMOGFad1IwWVRRWFNLVEg%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(653c1bc20ac192e0b80c1620c4d29996).jpg)
“I’m not a control freak, I just like things better my way.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY1QwaXg3TDhZQTVMNU9XeWxWRWNkdlhwV0pQVGVYSHpHUUJlZ0lmbjdaZWF5SnF3Tkg0blN4QlYwUGJoT2IzbXVNSkZsa1picDJTSjBqdktDM2kzR1pxRFBlN2xFeUFhZkt4UjgzakhONXlRPT0%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(387a58935bae4eeb3eb2b43ea44554ff).jpg)
“I’m not always late, but when I am, it’s usually fashionable.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZGhKL0pWLzEyeXdhS203d1g1TEZ2UTF1YlVLZGUvNk1aR0tIcm5MNktyRGlqUVJiSUpIVzBicHQ0VUpoTmU1WVg4MW5FUVhlYUk1SENjRnNSTG1pU1Y%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(ee080d793b2b7f77043f8023c34c5fe5).jpg)
“I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWRIY3ArNy9HTDhZb1p0VFVkc25UMjlJWW5DUFRjWTdWNE5GVTJqUUx4cjdxbkU5dlpYS1BHMFE3UDM2UGVOVnFQTWxPblJ5NFh3ZEZzVTJyNW1qVFhjTnU4QXR4a2J6TmRDWHFSQnM0UjhuVTVrSnBwcVRsMkNCR0JOY0YwakdKd1VkbWFWN00waXE4QnQwUkQzRGQ5ZkF4WnRGRXZMT1plUDVZWktONEFIZz09/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(86779d6bc08adad7b782810000099e4d).jpg)
“I’m not a morning person, I’m more like a ‘get up and bring me breakfast’ kind of person.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZkcxTjI4Ykh2OWcwbUxHZ0lGZ0p6N3VVekNkL05lcWhNYmlzd0dnTFVLZ2tqL1A4K2hSdk5EWG1BeEZ3WjVDM3RaUlZRNndSVVdDdUZUNFgrVXk1MDY%3D/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(07fea384c72d7ab64053eb4198ca2cb0).jpg)
“I’m not anti-social, I’m just selectively social.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0UrUkN6dFJKTStzKyszbG1LWUV2elVnZmR3L28rRGlJT3JXRkR6S3JVMGF1a3RwRWVrcG95aStZUmxLbUxIdHM9/TEST+QUOTES+FUNNY/(0ac8b6c07afca938525a7482e0873c70).jpg)
“I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.”