“Life is all about ass; you’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, or trying to get a piece of it.”

“Sorry, I only get a feeling when my tots are around. And by tots, I mean chicken.”

“My goal is to make you think, to provoke intelligent discourse. But you the dumb motherf***er’s need every episode laid out like ‘Barney and Friends.'”

“If you kick a man while he’s down, you better pray he doesn’t get up.”

“I can handle racism, but Tom, I can’t handle being called Chinese.”

“A pimp named Slickback is about as useless as a poopy-flavored lollipop.”

“Huey, for your information, blowjob is not another word for advertising.”

“Granddad, what’s up with all these weird-ass white people?”

“Letting that little white boy call you a punk ass n***a. That was your Khartoum moment.”

“No, Riley, I do not want to go see some Chinese ho-tel!”

“Sometimes, you gotta take the initiative and beat the living sh*t out of somebody.”

“The government has a long history of being asses!” DEEP QUOTES ABOUT FAKE FRIENDS

“I believe that there is a God, and I’m not afraid to say it. If something I say can start you to think, it’s done its job.”

“Just because you’re beautiful and this is a cartoon, doesn’t mean that I can’t break your face.”

“Listen, Bushido Brown, I don’t know who told you that I’m an easy target, but they lied.”

“You just mad because your career looks like one of Mo’Nique’s shirts.”

“Don’t get caught up in the hype, kids. Education is the only way out of the s**thole of life.”

“Riley, your bladder control is about as reliable as a rusty faucet.”

“What do you expect me to do? Turn down a U.S. Senator? I ain’t George W. Bush.”

“The truth is a force of nature, and if you try to suppress it, it will find a way to push back.”

“This is about fighting for a better tomorrow. Not just for ourselves, but for the generations to come.”

“You see, what we have here is a failure to communicate… So I’m gonna go ahead and give you a taste of Southern hospitality.”