“It is a Christmas miracle!” – Dwight Schrute

“Every Christmas, I tell myself I’m going to quit drinking. But here I am, guzzling down beers like it’s my job.” – Dwight Schrute

“Jim, I called off my wedding because I realized I was in love with you. Not just because of the party, but because of what you do to me. So, don’t come crying to me if you get hurt, because I warned you about my heart, and you ignored it.” – Dwight Schrute

“I’m dreaming of a Dwight Christmas.” – Dwight Schrute

“But before I do anything, I need to find out who did it, because I take Christmas very seriously.” – Dwight Schrute

“Santas are just people dressed up in suits full of candy. I’m going to catch one, cut him open, and eat the candy from his stomach.” – Dwight Schrute

“I come bearing eggs!” – Dwight Schrute

“The holidays are a time when people come together, embrace the spirit of giving, and celebrate the birth of Dwight K. Schrute.” – Dwight Schrute

“Nothing says Christmas like a shot of liquor and an Arctic Wolf walking down the hallway.” – Dwight Schrute

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. Unless you’re in an office environment, then it’s highly discouraged.” – Dwight Schrute

“I don’t want to steal Christmas. I just want to borrow it for a little while.” – Dwight Schrute

“Christmas is a time for resolutions, like cutting down on drinking. Except for tonight, of course, because alcohol is the lifeblood that flows through my veins.” – Dwight Schrute

“On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… twelve Schrutebucks!” – Dwight Schrute

“I celebrate eight Christmases. One for each of my ethnicities.” – Dwight Schrute PRICELESS DAUGHTER QUOTES

“I am going to bring the Christmas spirit to this office even if it kills me. And I will kill it.” – Dwight Schrute

“I’ve been an elf before. I had the pointy ears and everything. It made me feel unbalanced.” – Dwight Schrute

“I believe that Christmas is about celebration, not accusations. So let’s all hold hands and sing carols instead of pointing fingers, alright?” – Dwight Schrute

“Christmas is a time for giving. This year, I’ve decided to give myself the gift of not caring about anyone else’s feelings.” – Dwight Schrute

“Happy birthday, Jesus! Sorry your party’s so lame.” – Dwight Schrute

“Christmas is a time to reflect on all the blessings we’ve received throughout the year, like the joy of working with incompetent co-workers.” – Dwight Schrute

“I am the biggest Grinch you’ll ever meet. So prepare to have your Christmas spirit crushed!” – Dwight Schrute

“Only Dwight could turn Secret Santa into a blood sport.” – Jim Halpert

“If you feel like going on a bear hunt, have fun storming the Gap!” – Dwight Schrute

“Christmas is supposed to be about family, love, and joy. But for me, it’s about who can fit the most jingle bells in their mouth.” – Dwight Schrute

“I am the Ghost of Christmas Wrath. Beware, for I shall unleash my fury upon anyone who dare disturb my peaceful slumber.” – Dwight Schrute

“The best way to spread holiday cheer is by telling everyone about the beet farm. And if they’re not interested, just keep telling them until they are.” – Dwight Schrute