UNCLE EDDIE CHRISTMAS VACATION QUOTES

“Why, if I had a rubber hose, I would beat you into submission!”

“I don’t know why they call this stuff Hamburger Helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than Tuna Helper myself, don’t you, Clark?”

“You know, if I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.”

“You surprised to see us, Clark?” – Eddie “Oh, Eddie… If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.” – Clark

“Clark, that’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.”

“I don’t know if I oughta go sailing down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.”

“My cousin-in-law, whose heart’s bigger than his brain, kicked back two weeks’ wages for me to buy that tenement on wheels.”

“It’s a beaut, Clark. A real beaut.”

“Clark’s firm is having a little trouble, Eddie. He’s been holding out for a management position for over four years.”

“That’s all part of the experience, Clark!”

“You use up all the glue on purpose!”

“Clark, my cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain, is innocent!”

“If he keeps it up, I’m gonna melt him down and make a-” PABLO NERUDA QUOTES IN ENGLISH

“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant!”

“That’s pretty low, mister, if I had a rubber hose I would beat you into submission!”

“If that’s the company Lois keeps, I’m glad I dodged the bullet.”

“I don’t know about you, but I take comfort in that.”

“I think you’re all fucked in the head.

“I sleep in a drawer.”

“I asked for warm water, and they gave me room temperature. My fingers have been stuck in this cup for eight hours!”

“Close your eyes, Audrey. Merry Christmas!”

“Want something to wack yourself with? How about bumps back? There are plenty up there.”

“I could not be more excited than if I was to wake up tomorrow morning with my head sewn to the carpet!”

“Can’t believe we’re getting thrown out of a dump like this. We should be getting thrown out of a really top-notch place.”

“The silent majesty of a winter’s morn… the clean, cool chill of the holiday air… and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.”