VALENTINES DAY FUNNY QUOTE

“Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.” – Unknown

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” – Unknown

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.” – Joan Crawford

“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin

“Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

“If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.” – Fran Lebowitz

“You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.” – Melanie Clark

“Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.” – Thomas Dewar

“I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours, I watched whatever I wanted on TV.” – Tracy Smith

“Love is a grave mental disease.” – Plato

“Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.” – Christopher Marlowe

“Love is like a game of chess: One wrong move and you’re mated.” – Unknown

“Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you’d miss them.” – F.M. Knowles BEEN A FATHER QUOTES

“Love is the only kind of fire that is never covered by insurance.” – Unknown

“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” – Unknown

“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” – Natasha Leggero

“The best part about Valentine’s Day is that at least it’s happening to someone else.” – Unknown

“Love is like a comic strip: it starts with a ‘bang’, a ‘pow’, and slowly fizzles into ‘ugh.'” – Unknown

“Canceled plans are my love language.” – Unknown

“I love you even when I’m hangry.” – Unknown

“You’re the avocado to my toast, the cheese to my pizza, the Nutella to my spoon.” – Unknown

“I love you more than chocolate, and that’s saying a lot.” – Unknown

“Valentine’s Day: the one day where all your flaws are hidden under a mountain of chocolates.” – Unknown

“Roses are red, violets are blue, without Valentine’s Day, I’d be less confused.” – Unknown

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles M. Schulz

“I love you like Kanye loves Kanye.” – Unknown