![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TUlZTV3EyL21rOXRFZ1JWVUErK2dwVXorWDZkN1JyUDMrSXhqYTdEdXVUZDZiZW9XTjVaOEhmM0JaZTVybXJtdzVqZ1orWFFoRXN6VG9rUktnUi9VaGQ%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(baa22d0d74846240374ca65a6a978e69).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteE5ScjNva3dTWVE4ZHVXVWorN3RTQ0R4Y0FhaEdGSzhwZ0VzMnVXcS9zU3ZRb0drTU1uRDdoRDlHKzJwbHZEM0hiRVhuekxSbjFKOFhHRGl6VFpQRWc%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(9db4fa73fab57726bfdbe4a7a75b5ebb).jpg)
“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAveXA2eUJlWGoxMVRuV2w4cWpva3Y1cGhKYTkzd3BXL3g1TTVCcG04U0VLNlVVa01vaUthNGNjZ1A5SjZNbXR5UFBUVlo1dEltNnQwdGJUd2kvNTVIVUg3S0huVUdOTEdtMzNoU0RCSzluR2FRPT0%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(e5794edf280bcf872ebd0143af2dd27e).jpg)
“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUxMdGludUlTUDAyd1pKbXd0bWt4YmJGUFhlZ3VsWExEU2hPeWF1WWVpUkRzOTF6L1BhS2VkTmpTQUtiODlXbm91WmRTVGMyeDBCM1N0MmM3ZjFLQjN4eDhqcThDbWhkTHdlcVVzSzRzTzI0RG12RCtKTGdqdDZ1MUtQMFlRNFRUYTd0ZzRvMjRaY3c4VnIzRHpuVVlVPQ%3D%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(a4b8dc32337fced8b9d9e099fd4b7bd7).jpg)
“My wife told me to get rid of my spider. We both need the space, so we moved out.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEVlhqSmxFdjN1Uldpd0NUNW9ETVFQY0U1UkRXS3RFYVBCR01Ba3gydjNWMFU1a0FUVUo3M2p3R0pnWG5RMTJ3WjNZeHhvTktqcEpFYnZ2TDc2OUxDSlZKVVhkRm5sS0FOajdheitYamhiRmFwZHJobHhETGlrbWRKQ3lnc251eVYxL3g1dTZFb0tPVm4vRlVvdFFkVVIy/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(def15a0393359d34717f480a73d5febc).jpg)
“I asked the librarian if he had any books on paranoia. He whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFelVwUmVpcHFqdFQ0VkhpbGlvWkdlRk83RENramRNMGNXV3ZxU1oxRko5OUtsOXc3THF5Q0E3aWRDNTFnQ0F0NEQzSGNoRDhsL3hUUTJqUUU1MU1GSDRxWVhwczRDUVhuSTgvWjh1S2RFTmF3PT0%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(1ba9c25b8b6b703f57b7401b134827dc).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWnZEek9DNFN1bEJmLytFZ1IxRkxHeXhubUs0YkxPUG1TazFsUXNkTUROZ1pVY1RSallkbWdRTTRWUjNyVzNyYks0ZTc5TnBOMUtrRTRxeWlnNk5YZlJJejVJaW9BUjdHZkovWU5ubkRCZlU0bXZuUXdoSTUyd0ZzWHNsQkhvQ3hnPT0%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(8cff7c8e85592df1306f012c6bf22ee4).jpg)
“Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVnM4Y3pKY3kxTUtYS0pISkYwdTBMQmdUQjdJWWs4dEgvR2VUU0xTNjFmYTFGZ1hFR1NHZzhpOVBYUFRRakhSd2hvZkh1c0pWMXhqWGRrNHAwaDZhL0FlNXlrTGRYQ1RQQ0dXdGo5d3dZNmxuWnJVaVFrYWNNVVJncG5DL2s3UkZRPT0%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(00b61b4a50d32ebd13e142381efb6ddb).jpg)
“I couldn’t figure out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAvemR4STlHd1ROWFhHb1ExNmlDcDdnNnRSTTN6WlVRYy9iUjQ0SEdqMzBLMmxIN21LNFE0T2kvVmZmeFJWWUxPWTNKejlUTVJqVFROQmlTUk5OWkgyTnR0U0ZzWmlHcVJPZEg3ZG8vUlBZNStRPT0%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(8666a970d2c854419dc2542fd17061de).jpg)
“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkdSUEFhWDhuV2Y2VWwycklvWXBrQjFLUURnYXlBUUg2OUZOMklpTkMxMnNMb0NpdVdsbTAyV1ovbzVMS3BiTFRzQm4rdzhXejdhUEYwc0x5c0NhOFU9/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(1409bcb66995620c913a53aa947a6712).jpg)
“I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNlMzazlCWFJnanhRajlKK3FyTkNjdndZaExyWnVoSHRSNkZxMmNsRmlEeWNUU2Y0aTFYdW81Nk1reUVxYUpqSkxaTUltcDFmbTVLOFNCSWN5U3hPSUM4S1gvSHMreExCTnMwSkRjRHNzekNnPT0%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(70d6e7f5a8b009a8ea4e98ef8937b205).jpg)
“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFNTQ0IxR0lrajh3bUZZRzA1ZzVoRk1NVEU0ajhsbW9QdUlMTzBVbmhhSTRvVVJSZkdVNnBOQjB2cU02SDlsdnMzNXdkZnNSdmh5bnY0dytnRjFzd1FzbmNlUk1mb05mZDJNM3BBa0NmcUtnPT0%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(6f8ab261dbb54237c9d4619606b606db).jpg)
“I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones are Argon.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYmlxeWtvdVNoTTVsZVpReVRsRFFmaGxuSWhmQ2JMK25iWEtBY0lFUzJGdVVhd0MxWUJzdjB0UC9PTDc1T1ZQaExkNmdmY005cW9BUEVUb2Q2MjBWWUJBdlhFU045S2lqeUZ0RWpKMXRGdDZHc3MvMERZcGtIWGxLT0lXZVYxd0RRPT0%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(24f41e18c57d45ac57059ff5f6fb47ec).jpg)
“How do you organize a space party? You planet!” INSPIRATIONAL MOTHERS DAY QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2dmNXbm9mT1BmaXhQdmc4czZYZ3B2V1Fjd3RwTWZZWEJDbUdlYm1YZ0plN3RoYW03c1RmNm4vOVNVNFVwZzlRM3lrN2szZkEwZzkwRlkvNm02eWd3NTZSeWMvTXZKT3lIalBoY0pXTkdrbURLZDVTSTdKTnFlOTIzb0tnT3NHQjJBPQ%3D%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(b1df4651d34df09e3b5e7108aae047fe).jpg)
“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUU03R3E2MFpDekY4TnI1Nkg2N1JrQUNBekhkcHE4MURBQ04vdXhuNFBnV0x4VTdpQXJpYk0vV2xMdHFNbFJHdUVzRFRTVFJKMWRGV0ZpRzhJelh5QkxVRFUzMTkySUNHS01VSjlhSzRqTjBscHJHd3lkWnNaTmFhWVNNT1c4L093PT0%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(85fd3bdd1f98c60515dcdcfda8e89639).jpg)
“I started a band called 999 Megabytes. Still haven’t gotten a gig.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWnM2dkJoUThLTUlRbTRqNnRQMm5QRXZJNUFnUS93d2taWHhmd0hIU0FsVGVsRVpMYXdWdmEyY3prc051cVRMWDhHYzNyYkZrVmg0Z1U3dGY0bmZONkJSS24rZFdoWTB0bzBsdEdEWVZUN2JKUDdKcWFiNXM0bEZBek0rWVViUjF6QXFQbXVoY1RISTliQzIxQk41RkU0T2p5bXc3eFhNNGlQRUFYQWhxUy9D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(b96d40554922f4b35a3107126de1e733).jpg)
“Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZTAwdWhNbFYrZEFqWE1IYlRvd21ZMUVDMXM5bnNnRWYxSUtOazYxdE92VmFJUEl0WklKWnFYejNBN1NJZmVDK0h0aGtWR3JvQzBuN0VRV1RkcDVidnpFRzlaeEk0eUtKY0dhdlRGdkljQ3pnPT0%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(758ba0eb70b030c24f28c6ef20f2f9bb).jpg)
“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFelVwUmVpcHFqdFQ0VkhpbGlvWkdlRk83RENramRNMGNXV3ZxU1oxRko5OUtsOXc3THF5Q0E3aWRDNTFnQ0F0NEQzSGNoRDhsL3hUUTJqUUU1MU1GSDRxWVhwczRDUVhuSTgvWjh1S2RFTmF3PT0%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(1ba9c25b8b6b703f57b7401b134827dc).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0lJN2pSOVpUSTY0K1NVelNrNVlRQkRhUm1aSk5Qcy94RExsWnhzZ0k0eXZEaTZMMzJpUUlzNzF2SjBqUDlUaXFFK3FjajgwUHloNm9tZ3J0dnkxdk5RQlFzNUJ6RmhiTkRSUGl4VWJxR1AxMVFhaHJsS243dXBreSt0UmhyVGN3elRDRVU3cHJtanEwZlNDTmdtc29ncHg5YXp0cDRXNXRjMzgwOXZvdFQz/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(f6d5de35362f33b7f6d974b9229d3d5f).jpg)
“The problem isn’t that obesity runs in my family. It’s that no one runs in my family!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYlEvVUZTWjR5MkV6Y3NNMDhFa2xlYWNzZkRTNjUvY0xxaWo0bVYxZ1RxdjQ3Tkt5K2I5UWx3TkRsVkE3dFR4azQreDlIWTU1SDdwUkxHRmlVWUoyV1k9/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(dd9c1806256519a48e4025437c3917f3).jpg)
“I invented a new word: Plagiarism.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAveXA2eUJlWGoxMVRuV2w4cWpva3Y1cGhKYTkzd3BXL3g1TTVCcG04U0VLNlVVa01vaUthNGNjZ1A5SjZNbXR5UFBUVlo1dEltNnQwdGJUd2kvNTVIVUg3S0huVUdOTEdtMzNoU0RCSzluR2FRPT0%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(e5794edf280bcf872ebd0143af2dd27e).jpg)
“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZDMzdDMzL0JleENZYTJxcTZkaVVodTFlYmJXVkxzMlUvYStPL0o1YndFYUdlTm1BanFDQ2g4VjFxNTJJUDBDTjdQZUtXREJCRjJ6R1RUVWZMRkx5TWg3TmdZKzFqVjBZZWRUT0pQcEVYSjhlaGt1UDR1MnArRkZlbG5IdXUzNmJBbHVocHlmdkhwQlNJVWJJb2VFNEJzdk44Z2JmUG1BZDMrTEpHVElkV3A5/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(0ecb61e26d6920faed8726ef307f8159).jpg)
“If a bird flying overhead takes the time to poop on you, be flattered; it’s like a celebrity sighting.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVndJcktrbU1reU1oRUU2anBSZTBqbUpVckNDOWgyNGtPNm00cUxDV0gxVmY4RklDc3lTU3BmR1dMVzcyTkhWZmFjaDNQS3ZvZldiZFRsV1hQdnlyTmduS0hEVDYrazhyN3N6V2R0SGtkZUxRZWxyUXdDNTN0eTRKZVBienFtODkwRFY2Um1SSTVNdzdLQ2ZDa0hjS2hnPQ%3D%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(bec4f14bd2c5483c3f412f8997a0de01).jpg)
“I wanted to lose weight, so I went to the paint store. I heard you can get thinner there.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFNjNHdiQVM1Skw1ZmJUQWkzQkdvbG1IbCtreHNKdWZHYVFidGlSWmZheTFvNGRockJWc1BkUS83aXUxOE5qRElkeHMzSVdZQ2htQk1ndXhRQ0FQMGhjOTZaOEtnaDcrbVlqSExTVGZkL2xnUHNYaFZUMTM1Vkx1R0VPRnRkbk9xclpVVXg5ZWZCN3J3SWpUWHJsZzEy/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(f5160dbe0ec83f501acc8396b5478776).jpg)
“I’m not sure if I’m depressed or just bored of being alive. How can you tell the difference?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYWFhUk5EdWx2Tmdsend3enlRcWpsbmIzKzhGcmtIaitxU3VjZXRPbXdXQ0dwemxIV2ZDeVQzM3hlemdnL0RUaVQrdGhTTkRBM2xrSHBnMUpaT1VmLzZaZlFZN3JHbTcrMjBxWkhKdXluK1JNWjc2UDhXejBzaFdpNWJxYVJ4SEF1SXFyQnhabTBXTHpIYlA2SFFTcjc4PQ%3D%3D/VERY+SHORT+FUNNY+QUOTES/(d3bd1beaf4d48a341b6fbb776a2a655a).jpg)
“Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?”