![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVitycWlwejQ3YzlTRlF0azJ6WWd2UWdMdkJSRTVMZjM1WXNGTmVYaXNaUVduMHZMZXcxZk1weUVya2ZHZ1hxclEvK21lT3hPNmpVVmhqMFI5YTllaEphSVVxNldUZi9GNm9sWlVqVWE0dEdkdmJ0QlRSZ2poblZXTjZ1Ynp2ZnNRPT0%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(efc3d87b8d9cb2ccf66261f4a8d9816f).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, she hugged me.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteWJZTkpoWEVqLyt3RW1GVzBZT3k3L2hWejRvdDd0ZEJFYjRUNmM5S00rU1IzaEw0QkoxUW13SjVhakJ3U0JESjYyU2J4bFV4NWZwNlgyR2FDcGRSb3hSRkdmZE9BQnJ3bTZmNmlpcGkvN05RPT0%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(1b2ee92bb9b6ef3462a9aee9cf23c418).jpg)
“I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAveXA2eUJlWGoxMVRuV2w4cWpva3Y1cGhKYTkzd3BXL3g1TTVCcG04U0VLNlVVa01vaUthNGNjZ1A5SjZNbXR5UFBUVlo1dEltNnQwdGJUd2kvNTVIVUhKZm1hVHFMOWR0cnJYQlJQeVRvcVRYclY3ckNUYzdtSGo5SzV5SEI3d1UwPQ%3D%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(8aca8522b955224a4307dd289704b011).jpg)
“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEVi9venFDb1JJQTNtRW9oREFrVDRaZXlTVGRhSWIxUGVUT3FDcUR2Tkg1bllxNEpLR0hQOGZ5cDlMN2N4WWs3QnZsSDQvelVuQTltQzAvb3dsTU5SNXd6Zi93VXNUeGNIaUMxVVlwdS9UTWY2WUVRS05vSnU2RWtHeVNBemhXN1BDRUMvdUVTbkQ2QTFiR29WYi83N2hMcWZnWUhwVkRlaTV2VzhMQ28yUXZMTlBROTVJWk4wSWtrTUJPcXYrNGFvNnlCc2pTNENwZU4vRFBja3R6RDJ2T2RzNFVvb1kvZ1FMS3dHb0RMTmRSS091UlhXV2pScDNVZnJTSVk2c3pYOVE9/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(4b15bbdb2d7758069d363445b6ad595f).jpg)
“I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t make it on Tuesdays.'” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVTNmY0VseGt2cUk5S1FMK3JzaWwrWG1CaW1kaXh6alVmTXFOa1RLOEQ3WTBJc1hzYzErY2NqZ0hiRGlpQjUra1VzdUQwcUdwblZVZHhoc0ZVTysxMmJtTkY3aldKaFU2ZDNidXFlNTlaVlBDZ25tbUpwYWh6Mis3dHNzemFRUHEzeUJmbGVScEJsSHIwby9rOW41QU5nPQ%3D%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(45b7a83a98e34429a0ab34f63aa50a8c).jpg)
“It’s been proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZTE4MDFlUklEVVk5anVTTnZwU2FZdFRWZ2pDZGxWaDlza21FUU1DeFJuZ2xTZFpkb1Qxdm1WZHJzOGNSb0NkKzZobCtaclludmY2YWRQSzgzdk5iVUpuNmtUMnBacnFURzdYVTA3NTViTW9qRTljS2xwMk9MUHBIdUVwdCtWMjFVWTdiUCswYUpZRU80cWhDbmhmL1ZqcDZmSVF5WlQ4M0lneGtuQUN4ZkJyc0NFNDlwd0JVMXpnMVByOXVOQVdBemg2RVdWZjIyVk1KeEJvYXFvd0JzY3E0OXVjRXNjR3hic1lkaEVKR2xTcFE9PQ%3D%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(b44299c029ebf9a77acd76a2082110d5).jpg)
“I’m sorry, but I can’t help myself. I laugh uncontrollably when people fall down. It’s a condition. It’s called ‘being awesome!'” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZjBhZzcxdHc3dFgrSnViM1JacEgvWmdac1dVUE9sZjhCOWxxbWJmQVZqNXZYRVgwanhENGVnY2Q2V2F5dk9aelY2ZlJZMkdIZG1wRzJ1bUFCaW1rbDNIdEFLWU9GM0xUV01Ibkc2MTRuNEY1ay9hRDZ6NkJRQlE2TVR5OVMzZ0ZX/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(386930316762f3fda30f9dcfcb425705).jpg)
“I don’t need a hair stylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUl6YmJBNU8xem5vY29vbHRMOFRTWlJDdzlVaWxFaTZPV3dYNFpab1h2VkY2b2UyTUtockV3MmZNd0QySmhiU1ZpUFZWT1h3dCswRjVHRUFydUVHZUQxTi81Wk1pSzRuMndSTVRVN1pPRVVsUWRTQ0dMcExyeUNUOHQvMkZ4SDhBPT0%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(fac71281cdc12de10269ca3b1ef71411).jpg)
“When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFelVwUmVpcHFqdFQ0VkhpbGlvWkdlRk83RENramRNMGNXV3ZxU1oxRko5OUNRZDhNT2tQNVdHZ0h2Umk3eUt2TUJFOHREamY1RTJGdHF6dkVkeFUzSnFUVS9odzIreDFEcDFzRnFuRDYyOXRnPT0%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(754d436b5990578023b28bdce1b2944c).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV01VVG8yK2dRZStNcGVhSnYzTGhWTlN3WmdQbWlBRWRTaE1OdjZ5c0tWMGdDVGIyY1N6Vkt0RTJITnIrQ1MvRzNRZEFPdThuWC9TaVFMaTRvUTB6b2xnVWFxNkJkT3NiZGNjNDRnem95S25Vd0xXcGVmdUhibitVQjcwa3RyOWttRWZSNkhEd0ttbk5KWTN6ZjJVT1dtL1doeTlhUVNKTEJrODVKQUVyYVFq/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(7ac0f23ca84bcb29606ac857e9645d64).jpg)
“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2dmNXbm9mT1BmaXhQdmc4czZYZ3B2V1Fjd3RwTWZZWEJDbUdlYm1YZ0plN3RoYW03c1RmNm4vOVNVNFVwZzlRM3lrN2szZkEwZzkwRlkvNm02eWd3NTZSeWMvTXZKT3lIalBoY0pXTkdrbURIbkFaWXhGdm5MbnBLV1R2NHQ5TlhuMFFBb1ZtS0VPTTJYYkIwSlQwVC9L/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(cf69c1ddb8c6af2609910199cd79006f).jpg)
“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVBrbDV1RlByL1gxZENvdXFmQjltZ3A5WFRuaXI5OG16M0RyMldadERWNG42OFpkMnU3d2hZaXZJdmdOSStXb1ZDcTcvdWxqRUJ5UW9YbHZLaXJiR1VyMFJ5Z0FOTURKRW4rcDFFcFRhK2JIbzFOUHJVOXRNSlBhUng5UnFtMmEyVTZITFNVbzI2ZThYWStKbmlRWVZNVDBQTDRWTlg1eG1uV2dmMDNQTmU2Q1NhMkNmU1hUZGw3YW9wRUlyRnRpdz09/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(83a08de93f2e091d60e9cf28d77294e8).jpg)
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then, I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFlaZ1ZuM1VERFZCMWJuWWVLWDkvTFNRM1FERGE4TTlhS3p2bHF1UHVJSGlRUXhlN21JWmdvK2tvc01HKzRMcDBwclZaVmpybmxDdVcyT1dUd0tsZm1YWHhMbTBWZEpMNmlMOU1tdWFuek5jamZmajFXQTFCbTBMcHVZa3Vpc1VVPQ%3D%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(fc2e3060299f5445310279ab4142dea4).jpg)
“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAvemR4STlHd1ROWFhHb1ExNmlDcDdnNnRSTTN6WlVRYy9iUjQ0SEdqMzBLMmxIN21LNFE0T2kvVmZmeFJWWUxPWTNKejlUTVJqVFROQmlTUk5OWkgyTnREZjFrYzFKemgrQnM3Z3U4alFFcVF1K3hSdU8zR2ljT2F1WVRJaHpkQnJxdVh5U2RueitTYW5vb3NXM2JseFo2cEIxUXlSNC92L3FEYm9ucTZ5MVpkZz09/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(53c5ed664979be388768ed1838fe0e20).jpg)
“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!” – Unknown FAMOUS EDUCATION QUOTES IN ENGLISH
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteE5ScjNva3dTWVE4ZHVXVWorN3RTQ3ZuUVl2ZUdyTTZaWmRKeUdyT1ExN0FLazBIUThQNEk0QkVLdDR1ZVJ4MlBxcWRWdDQwQlZCajNWdUg1cHNNdFZHSlQ5MGpGUkhrTUszc2I3eCtIbEpRPT0%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(64598b2979a9fa91b1eb252c86c2dd94).jpg)
“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteDJhemJud1hsa1JjY0tuUW56QkR1UDl0Y2x1eW9PNFVnQ1ZTREhXanJhU1QrTzRocUpiWS9sTmpCYkkzUWxJcGVZQTFpV01LaWFhUlhoRUxIWmgraDE2MC9mVmplVUxtK0FqS2E5QjFoNHRnPT0%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(5e9b972205d46b8ab00e89c486281d70).jpg)
“I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNlMzazlCWFJnanhRajlKK3FyTkNjdndZaExyWnVoSHRSNkZxMmNsRmlEeWNUU2Y0aTFYdW81Nk1reUVxYUpqSkxaTUltcDFmbTVLOFNCSWN5U3hPSUM3Wm5OcXFmemNYdWV6amEyV2IwUkZPcC9jRzUzbVQzM3ZLRng0ek5pZlU4PQ%3D%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(88de4e52cb85808774dc8d154c5ca56d).jpg)
“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVVha0ZRc0M1WmFyZXZiVFJaa3EvUER6QnFFaUJIdEwvMSswdXRYUVhpNFpMM2pPeEJ4OWwyY0dnaG5zQWkwMkFDZWhLZ2lkUW1YMG1sWUtyZGRkVXlzZWxFNjM1Tzdka1Jycko3SG5CUGU1TmpOenJEczY0WnJnQmdUWWc1dDlvQTdOb0xMd2pFOUFWNUQwMlVWOVVvR3ovd1ZkVDZDakt0OFpseFhQOHRZ/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(5cdb417cbc28fb4b76653d8b5c2205b9).jpg)
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.” – Earl Wilson
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjhINThUbmxNTk9ucDFQeUxsZm9uamkxaEpGQWNuUy9tQXZ0aDlrZHd2Nm11V2twemM3cjFjNVJ5eUZUbWFnREFFQjZndHlmS0QvSTRNSGhYanlOb2YzZjNqY3hXTURZVGJvQzFweFd0cHJYNGZSSmJRdW44WUE3UUV5RGlNaVBSb0dSS0xEZ25lamdHRUJRWVczbUFpOWVMbzBmbnh4bFkxWmQrdGpGanNx/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(0a4e140bf80e3057905e6d1d0dbcfada).jpg)
“If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWi9Fd2IxZTNrT3dkWVNwVGhrSGh1YjZyU1hoVzVob3JPMUJiYk9IeUxyQk5NdmpnemhrUVVpeW54S0Z0eUovZWlKYkpQbXZNYk40Qm54dnp6aUdaZ09sSUhmbzFIdTNzdlh5b3FsK0dXamU%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(00bd06f0e9f22ff69c9b27780456b3bd).jpg)
“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAveXA2eUJlWGoxMVRuV2w4cWpva3Y1cGhKYTkzd3BXL3g1TTVCcG04U0VLNlVVa01vaUthNGNjZ1A5SjZNbXR5UFBUVlo1dEltNnQwdGJUd2kvNTVIVUhKZm1hVHFMOWR0cnJYQlJQeVRvcVRYclY3ckNUYzdtSGo5SzV5SEI3d1UwPQ%3D%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(8aca8522b955224a4307dd289704b011).jpg)
“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZkdETG1wajBkZXd0d0x1cm9acHRPVjNTSklIc2d6WGtUanBRVFYwVDdReCtxOGxJWFVyK3hweHlmaEt5VC9MNGJmZDJPZWRwd1ltcU1QQ0IrdXRkV0RyQzhLaXp3MW4vQVFkQmRVUUc4SXRsdmt2c2NxQnM1dFlKeDlXakJURXB3PQ%3D%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(83b0ca83c93bf917b91d7bfd2bcd31bb).jpg)
“I’ve decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrN2E5QTlBbnJ2eGNpbUdDTEpmU2dnT0YydHJXTmN6K09oOXpPNW5PWHdHS3NYN1FHbWh1TVE5ek1ETlhuZmhqbDZEQnhHNXVKcXNjL0V6Z3Y4YThnS201V2p6TFlxeHhlSmpiaG9jVFlYaG53PT0%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(206b852040a902072d7f17991012c2cd).jpg)
“Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1FBYisrRENDSjhDRVB1a0pJZGxDR3hidTB3SXhQY0pyR2xSb1pPb0hPbGtvWFVpYVZQbnZtdkNkSEE4ckFaYnBTT21vMjUxdTkwWlJPb0xLVTRFRWo4cjljbUdFVHBodWhERHRjZml4Y3NuZFlxWkRYdFJhT05WLzNWR0dXQ2lHclBRZnE0Zkp4OWFaRnpkdnA5dUNBPQ%3D%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(6837549da8d1a810d61f254c9ab51b69).jpg)
“I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY1hxVEd6YnpUVG1oRFJiTEE0dkFMMFZHTW51VUZ2ZmtWUmtiQmdPeWZrdEYwbzAxdEVDMklXUlJCQWRNWklLK0dQK2lFb2srOVlzcSszZ0ZrR0JSeElURzU1a0hZMlNqY2NjekVIbWxOc0NPbzVvdlkzekpadUszbU1ZQldUdDZ0d3VLV3hCSGR0TzNLYmpXZFBXbFNGaGxQSVlVeTNHYXp3ckpMZHlObVhRQzYyRGRodXcwa3ZieUR4ekhTS3lOaz0%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(e86c8288d5a84e7c84f7c0171fea8361).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVTNmY0VseGt2cUk5S1FMK3JzaWwrV3RLTS85OHV5UmJybWFlclE2dGx2dGFEajQ1QjdtN1hRR210aWZjL215MVJ1Vkx5aDIyaUZob2pKbGZOZFpoSzR0SHB0WkE1MmhDaUZPb3hnVGNLV2JRaHhEdjhVR2JWbDlBZVlCZ3Y2ZkU4MTV4ekk4RGV5TGN4bnI2bytOUWVFPQ%3D%3D/YOU+NEVER+FAIL+TO+MAKE+ME+LAUGH+QUOTES/(72793893aae7d86c23c362d977bb3f66).jpg)
“It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.” – Unknown