DAVID GOGGINS QUOTES FUNNY

“I’m not a morning person, I’m a don’t-talk-to-me-before-I’ve-had-my-coffee person.”

“If you think running a marathon is tough, try sitting through a meeting with a room full of idiots.”

“The only thing I hate more than quitting is finding out that the vending machine is out of snacks.”

“I don’t have time for Netflix and chill, I have goals to crush and dreams to chase.”

“I ran out of excuses, so now I just run.”

“My idea of a balanced diet is a burger in each hand.”

“Some people call it laziness, I call it energy conservation.”

“I don’t always exercise, but when I do, I prefer to make it as painful as possible.”

“Life is like a box of chocolates, except mine’s filled with dumbbells and protein bars.”

“I’m not a gym rat, I’m just one step away from becoming a swole ninja turtle.”

“I don’t need a personal trainer, I need someone to hide all the junk food from me.”

“Working out is my therapy session, that’s why I sweat so much. It’s all the pent-up sarcasm trying to escape.”

“You know you’re getting old when your knees make more noise than your car.” WORK OUT QUOTES FUNNY

“The only thing stretching after a workout is my stomach, as I make my way to the nearest buffet.”

“I don’t run from my problems, I run towards bigger biceps.”

“You can’t outrun your problems, but you can definitely outpace them on a good sprint.”

“I don’t lift weights, I lift spirits. Mainly the spirits contained in beer bottles.”

“I would love to be a little more zen, but I struggle to find my inner peace when someone cuts me off in traffic.”

“My six-pack isn’t made of abs, it’s made of donuts.”

“I don’t always do yoga, but when I do, I prefer to do it in a pizza coma.”

“My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”

“I’m sorry, did you say it’s leg day? I thought you said it’s brunch day.”

“I don’t do burpees to get fit, I do them to scare away potential conversation partners at the gym.”

“I don’t believe in cheat days, but I do believe in treat yo’self days.”