![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TVDBWcC9nM2dtRjlpV202R01jcis4aWJhYjBudWhqUW1YNTBUVk11dE8vV04zRGI5MTNaMWRPcE95SHMyL1gwOTdtWkdERmdEcUg5cnVVYVlZYzhjbkI%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(4a05e09b6ce4c2a2fd0916fd0f5204a1).jpg)
“I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWR4K2JneDQzbncwNWVnVERJNHk2M0dQWHA4ckNMSzVCTHhEVXVpYVMzYURlZWRMMUkyUlFxQXYxSmpTalQ3V2t1U3hKbXFENkZ4d1BDWE9nWllMVlo%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(d51e0e43006b0bdcbf1499fc2cb0ff02).jpg)
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZGhKL0pWLzEyeXdhS203d1g1TEZ2UTF1YlVLZGUvNk1aR0tIcm5MNktyRHZiSnhFYTJmWkNWVFNCOGVWcGpzZUZFT0lQVTNKcnIzYmV5YWs2di81WEM%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(bd8f2ba9527c27301898631fea518efc).jpg)
“I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV2hzOHJIbUY0akRoSnVvSGd4ajIzMlg5bnZlQkFXTzdiamJiNlJkQVZML3VoTW9uL2JjbFNEMVR6OUJsUngxQXc3RFUyeTZsN2VKYlRCRVdiUWxUQ3ZOWjRWYzM3ODE0Y0JSNUVxK3RGR1U%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(12d8df04d2e40312b2292f6fa3976515).jpg)
“If there’s no Wi-Fi in heaven, I’m not going.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0p5cU1nc215NDc1M0h1aWYvOE50azdpK0dKU3VYbkx6bDZwZE5lc2hqVzVTR1Nua09FVTlKUW01WnVkeWZKNi9ZeUNUdlBZQTRsYXdBUmtLaDNIakRwMXI0NmQweTNmaFBvZ2hlMjF4alhINVA0TE5LczRxU3haNlZ4TkR4Z1ZpMXRHTExqUVR0NUtncldIaEREYVdEMEJSUVl1RU8rcUd6RGhDUzNpdzdYZz09/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(db599cab520d883054f36f5833d76b6b).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2dmNXbm9mT1BmaXhQdmc4czZYZ3B2V3NGandRQmtnaDVMTWVTeno2R2RZRStqOElQMm5GOWFSUU5rZ0hKM1k0UlNZdmdxUitHVS83bEdxSndEOTQrdW0%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(8f770d03e0930c2e7592a460fe5d5985).jpg)
“If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkl5RGYrWXRKdHY3NGQ4NTZXYkJtQ29BaG51NHJydmhPZ3hVajNveXY5MGZFbmxWZFpwL0Y0SHlnd0xrd2txNzA1R0ZieEdwVXJyUUFBT2FJbFNjN3hpSnZtVTdZZjdvakdXSzEvWlJVQ0lDcnk3MFhjd2t5TzBRVlJFYlVEcGRtWkVMNGs5MnVrMDBES3NON1F0RmUvcXJUUmZ6WXFPclVYZS9xY2Yyd2M1K0xsNUV6N0N0WUt2QUd6ak5RZnNzSUc5TmVLUzlkekdGZEpNaXgrSFUrbWFMK0FLU0ZsbmxSMExpTmlEOW5NWkRPaE8xWW1yaGVQSkp3a3hRSlU0ZTMwb1JXYjZPa3ZhQnc1V2hpVnRxS2M9/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(44fa09c0b83f169e7fa136fbcb63d506).jpg)
“I follow three simple rules: Don’t lie. Don’t cheat. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, unless the person you’re making them to is pretty darn gullible.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZC9rUjJacUNpNDhnQ1M4K2U5Q2VxeEpOU20wNEt2azdqUUlnZUpMSDRLaEgwSHM5UmlFUW5yc0htYklmTWZlVXoxT2xYRVFzYThNb0k0dEJrNnczR2lFWlVrTmU2K1J2cTRabktOekRkQ0tMSmFwMi9Fb0Q3cFFXQ1RUV1djMzFlcC9rYmF1d1VrazF1UnBPWXJFZ0ZQK0lJUXR6K0xGRktLRTI3TzBaemp4ZTFCeUcxNGZuM0dlVU1sK0ZoZW5TZz09/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(aae15306038a76bfbc62a1e544563edd).jpg)
“When someone says ‘expect the unexpected’, I like to stare at them blankly and say, ‘So, start talking.'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUhtam5XalBwQTFwYWFjRGpFRlhMbmcxTU5ORUI1MFB0eS92cU5uQkRIMXJENW9MMjVPenhIV2lXdFBwSTQrTnRPR0ZPYVc1VC9tSW4zNHN4Um8yUHQwdGpTT2RxczVMWWIycTVyZkFCTHVwNW1kNzBWWThZUmhjSGJzVXFrdFNRPT0%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(16f50e220d39bd78bba3c02639831bb5).jpg)
“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZHlIR3BoYk1QRzNNK2VmVDNVZTRYZml2VWdZYmZpZnFlek0zRVh4UVdlbExZd21tcDlWcjNBT0pDUXZRMGlZV2xGbzVYS01lQ0lLNmhmZU9nR0Vka1hUSmc4MjdZZHR3N2s3NkxlOW45TXhkWk1HU3E2YWF4N3ZKNGN6YkpDczZZPQ%3D%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(beca00cd6682e796a289df0ec81f08cb).jpg)
“I’m not afraid of death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU09rMmdOMnE5WWxXd0wyUFdGVzNFMDFBV05OVmtnbHRGeDREQ3VuSVl1QlA3QVQrL1JCQkJabE41cjIwb1dyODN5TmpFZWNoY2piWmlQRUZxeE1CVnU4ZEdiMzJnSWF3YmRPZnZIRDZhZ1lMb296ZUplcHZLQS9jc3VFQ0p3SUFXekdSSUdPR2JkdnJxVW42SU5ROENvPQ%3D%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(71d35a4fa916d9f4d241ea6271576cb2).jpg)
“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0tOR21CT0FGNk45NWkyNHVIUXpOTXRkK2w1WXVNSjR1QVZ4ZHB6NjExZ0hNNUFXNzgvZWJOVmNIejJMS0hnVXdLUG8yb2ZMRG5ydDhkR3BHakNLaFdZUzhBN2ZXUVhyR3g4UG1lSU0yS3h3PT0%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(ff1db113e7426d6a9728b12f4ff18b0a).jpg)
“I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWlCNUtVeVpDTmRDZVdDRjMxRUFCNTZMY3JlanVQQU5hcEd6ckhzRitwSGczTlhJL2lteVhXYmtQUkM2dS9ZSnc9/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(45c4b1380f99895bada738af17894b75).jpg)
“I’m in shape. Round is a shape, right?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZlA5UFp3aWc3QWVFZHdrQUxqY2hzNmN0WXVNYXp4em1lS0Y1ZENickxXVExYNHdRM3VVb3ZYYWRtcWNkT3pyU2pmdm1WNDg3N0VkajlnSkxCNlU5RVZlQytyZTY3MURvTDFVTHozTnh4NWJOa3hGMVRmZDdFZjFQQjBkMDNJc253YUJmWmgxR2puMHFSNHAyZkQ3NjRhUDJrdmdpdkxTUkJGQ0ROM2ZiNXFETWdpTXZIYjlFNTBqUnJmL3VKdFVUQT0%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(95591ed5d6c46803614643a3089dc310).jpg)
“I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen us in the same room together?” HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aVVrNmUxUFdZMG5Lb1VOK1hqcUYyWjVuMFhNVUZQakJpYTVPZnQ3Qm03MjBRSllSOVlyeS94S2gyOHpXZ0F3d2lYWlpVcU9iK3RpQkVMaGN5YmdycHdJU00vOCtsOFpqdlJGRXNtejZIbkNnPT0%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(f03bd91d4a0655fdafa6d5b05e86a35d).jpg)
“I don’t need anger management. You just need to stop making me angry.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY2VYbXpWM0ViN3ZRY3BBNmFLOTdNaCtjaGU1aXk5aXMxSERya3Y4Z29qYmViRGtuZHlKWUVQNmdSbVRFSEZvTWdRY0NxK1pIc3dhV0o4aDlyTEVxZDA%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(d95cc97ec722441118a1858d6b9c49f6).jpg)
“I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU2ErYkhRY1ROSVBxN1RXejZtVHBwSDAwUDdYTk80SXQrTkJPeXRqTW5heDJDKzlraWY0dUZzWk5DVTlUVmpPS3FUVksxWjUxQ3VjK21nNVUxYnAwc3ZTcHRDRTN1cEMyUXBVcVIydjQ5ZXRIZGl3eUNCQUxWd0lQcjFHdUNwUVJyVHB5Y3BzdXYzREZMNDhMOWQ5V2hIWUdzSjd1MVhKNUpaUUNNMXF5VmR4/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(b0468263ba09182c9135ae4e9f4d9c2b).jpg)
“I might be a classic overthinker, but sometimes my mind surprises even me with outrageous conspiracy theories.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZDEvYmFLUE16dW8yOHRWTG90V0RmRUM0QUR3WWlsSzA5bU5pSjM0b2l4NzRLaGNpbDIyYjk0QllpVVVQT0h3YWFwaFY4V1NVZDUwajNIMlA1V0g2UWNxQXV4SFZqVStERlE0WmlZN1M2Uit3PT0%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(825feb00356d29d0b6ab24088e6b84c0).jpg)
“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWR4K2JneDQzbncwNWVnVERJNHk2M0dQWHA4ckNMSzVCTHhEVXVpYVMzYUZ2N1ZlVS96RWpyeW1Bc0VINDROSlc0Z1AwUzRUUjZBOVNFeFp5VnlEcE4%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(dc77b5415a0799d79dfeded764a5e27c).jpg)
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are still upgrading.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZmhYNStpcElUQjRYZFpCeXl0OXh1MldsU3pkVmh2UFlidUhjTllsRVQ5ZU5YcnM3YmxKREl4NjkvN2JBaGt4eGk%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(db066cb07e325b0a109b85f027afcc93).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZGhKL0pWLzEyeXdhS203d1g1TEZ2UTF1YlVLZGUvNk1aR0tIcm5MNktyRGlqUVJiSUpIVzBicHQ0VUpoTmU1WVZJekFwaDMvaWFlVFY4SG1MSzBLRGpCZU54RkNEOFVrMGRtQWk2QzBwTDZ5T3hlNzNvdnZOeFpLSitEMkhIVUE4PQ%3D%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(52e8307a542225cec39d36015e8fee13).jpg)
“I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours. Well, maybe slightly more wacky.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY1hxVEd6YnpUVG1oRFJiTEE0dkFMMFZHTW51VUZ2ZmtWUmtiQmdPeWZrdEYwbzAxdEVDMklXUlJCQWRNWklLK0d1VWJEN0t0bGtWWndTaGx2ZDdTRm1Pa3BiSndycno1YVFSMThsUVUvVXZXRWRvRVZ3OW5hWmJOdGlQaDQzdWU0eFQwSDZMbnYwMDdFRmlMY1diNTRSZ0dtWlh6cFV0QUowNTFEbHNYemFkQT09/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(e89789765734c493507642d9c9698809).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, tables and chairs follow me, and walls jump out trying to get me.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZUNONlQvSktmcFA1UTBRNnBKdkZwMFFMeFJuczdQRGRRK3NBNHhTbzZDM3U5eEh3dzhnb1BreWdKVHVFVnBvK3FabHh5NXpSWFF1cXVPK1IwcUtYaUVHMWJsZmxvRHhrallDcWdIZWlWTjdBPT0%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(319f00b313b3d3c40e4a732f7cfb4b6c).jpg)
“I’m not slow. I’m on turtle mode for maximum enjoyment.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZjRoZ09zNEFIMG1wVnVWdDVaNjg5ZzBNSjl2ckt0SlQwSXdBMmllSmUrYzdVK0k0U1BJNmNFZlMzYjkwcWR2LzdGb0VCTTJ1RmppOFUrRHQ0MXU2bmxPQnlaZGpNbVNMbHZGY2NwbGNyUlN3PT0%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(9d11d24f975dd9919e9a6f410b29cd30).jpg)
“I’m not a pessimist. I’m an optimist with experience.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZHcySUI2TnRPYlFMdlAwMU1ZbTdYSk1BZGZneVFBaGhxUDg4c29DaUo5M0NsT3pUSC9VTzQxVkViSUZ1NE5ldlFrTXdKVjNnb2xoOWdIUm9mZHpQZk9qQjY0QW1hbEt3bnJ6ZzA1eXdNeEpBPT0%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(f2036db7e7c802bf844e8c9be439ce14).jpg)
“I’m not ignoring you. I’m just prioritizing my selective hearing.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZm5SaTNQUWVqWDRCMGt5QUIyUkRUTzR1WTJlUGVuVGdwTVNuU1pEVS8vUHh3SHNWM0dNWmwwQkd0cjl3bFZ5NXVjWEI3SDR4VnNFS2RHYlI1UWJPMjhKYmhSbUttOW5RWm1Qbk45MzdCc0NNVTNWS0xiMUZGSVZNN04wZmNWN0tJPQ%3D%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(a6aa67accacb1a3a39f89de0d0249430).jpg)
“I’m not forgetful. I’m just blessed with a short-term memory upgrade.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZXpwbE9vODl6aWtMSllKUDdZV3hINXhYVUNOeWttUzBNUFZhWkpwVHNVaXB3VmNrUGg4ZnAxK0UyaytkS1V5SGgyVlhkUmpycFQ2b004MllZY010b2dJK2N6ejJrRDRMSEVUa25tLzZOYXp3PT0%3D/NAME+FUNNY+QUOTES/(b093d058bd7399989e857cfdbbe769ff).jpg)
“I’m not disorganized. I’m just creatively spontaneous.”