SARCASTIC SAYINGS AND QUOTES

“Oh, I’m sorry, did my sarcasm get in the way of your perfect world?”

“Sure, I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.”

“Oh, please, tell me more about how important your selfie is.”

“Oh, great idea! Let’s just add more drama to the situation.”

“I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot that I only exist to entertain you.”

“If only sarcasm was an Olympic sport, I’d definitely win the gold.”

“I’m not sarcastic, I’m just allergic to stupidity.”

“Oh, so you’re a self-proclaimed expert on everything? Fascinating.”

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stranger, right?”

“If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber’.”

“Congratulations, you just won the award for stating the obvious.”

“Sure, I’ll go the extra mile. But only if it’s paved and has a drive-through.” ANNIVERSARY HUMOR QUOTES

“It’s not that I’m opinionated, it’s just that I’m always right.”

“I’m not sarcastic, I’m just fluent in sarcastic.”

“Please, tell me more about your expertise in my life.”

“If only you could run as fast as you mouth.”

“Oh, I love it when I ask a stupid question and receive a sarcastic answer.”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”

“Of course, I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.”

“I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes, I’m asleep.”

“I don’t have a smart mouth, I have a sassy mouth. But I always back up my sassiness with classiness.”

“No, no, please continue telling me how your life is so much more exciting and important than mine.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?”

“If you want to experience air superiority, try inhaling my sarcasm.”