WORK STRESS STRESS QUOTES FUNNY

“I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.” – Jennifer Yane

“The biggest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” – William James

“I’m not procrastinating, I’m still gathering last-minute panic.”

“Stress: the confusion created when one’s mind overrides the body’s basic desire to choke the living daylights out of someone who desperately needs it.” – Author Unknown

“Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it.” – Jack Wagner

“I’m sorry, but my stress levels aren’t compatible with your drama.”

“I thought I was stress eating, but it turns out that I’m just a passionate food enthusiast.”

“Stressed spelled backward is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!” – Author Unknown

“I don’t need anger management; I need people to stop pissing me off.”

“If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.” – Author Unknown

“At work, stress is optional, but sarcasm is mandatory.” – Author Unknown

“If you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty of joy and stress.” – Author Unknown

“I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.” BEST RAP QUOTES ABOUT GOD

“Stress: The condition created when the mind overrides the body’s desire to choke the living daylights out of someone who desperately deserves it.” – Author Unknown

“I am on a drinking schedule. I don’t drink before five so I must be stressed.” – Author Unknown

“I’m not saying let’s go kill all the stupid people… I’m just saying let’s remove all warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.”

“Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could have eight arms to punch people who stress me out.”

“Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.” – Author Unknown

“The only thing that lessens the pressure on me is putting my hands on your throat.”

“No, I’m not stressed. I’m just incredibly busy to the point that my brain might explode.”

“I don’t always handle stress well. In fact, I’m not always sure which one of us is going to crack first – me or my moisturizer.”

“I’m working so hard to avoid stress that I stress over how much work it is.” – Author Unknown

“I took a stress test, turns out I’m stressed because my stress tests are always stressing me out.”

“Dear stress, let’s break up.”